Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
