I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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