every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I can't put those talents on a resume
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
