Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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