Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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