haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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