from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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