I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
