Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
