I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
