who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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