haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
