am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Even my vagina gasped.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
