Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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