I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize