Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
