He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
