took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
