all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
