I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
