she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I cut my penus on the lid.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
