if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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