just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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