So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
