I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
