Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
