i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
