Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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