This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
