3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Can i not drive my cunt home
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
