In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
