you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
