just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
