somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
