Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
