I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We need to get me chipped asap
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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