is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Swine flu is the new snow day.
is wine microwaveable?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
