My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
