he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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