Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
