Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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