remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
