Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
what day is it and did you see me today?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
