i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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