Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
