He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
