how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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