I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
