put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
