your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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