Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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