i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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