Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
