is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
