Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
